31DEC08

so its the last day of this year & i must say i'm glad.

this year was so effed up in so many ways to explain, but some good came out of it.

right now, i'm watching my grandmother fry up some chicken ... :/ i swear i'mma die if i keep eating in this house. all this fried food ... you'll find me one day in a corner in the fetal position clutching my heart. smh ... 

just thinking now, i noticed that i've lost more friends than i gained. & its not from something i did, or what they did... we just simply fell off. thats awful, it might be my fault though.. because i'm not the type to just call people .... if i'm bored i just sit around & be bored. hopefully this new year has a lot more in store for me.

Anyways i'll try to bring in the new year with my camera tonight lol.

oh yeah, & if anybody's reading this ... i'm starting a new blog sooo i'll post a link for it soon :D

--coolbeans.

asian persuasion

I was told that my blog was hmmm... semi-- AWFUL !

lol, well guess what i don't care. This is mine to just blow smoke because i rather not talk to a person because whenever i do... seems like they aren't listening. && There's two people blogging on here sooo... 

WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK BOO-BOO CRITIC !

on another note[lol] christmas just passed & i got nothing just as i asked for lol. Nobody believed me ... Everybody i know is just now getting an i-pod touch... been had it ... since it first came out. I was on the waiting list :D

I need breakfast.. i've been up since 3 this morning, i went to sleep early. I couldn't go back to sleep. I just laid in bed until daylight. Because if i got up & started walking around, that would be pretty weird lol & plus somebody might wake up & tell me to take my [behind] back to sleep. I refrained from using the computer but i listened to my ipod... got tired of it. threw it to the side like a dirty ho .

please excuse the randomness my brain is scattered & my life is uneventful so no stories to tell.

oh yeah

my thanksgiving sucked by the way ...

my family pisses me off, i was so excited to see them & then they killed it >:[

ahhh

coolbeans *again

i need, i need, i need.... bread ??

okay so its sunday & i've pretty much loafed around all weekend. i didn't do my homework & my teacher was putting me all on front street talking about i never do my homework. maybe i have ADD... i think so. I attempted to do it but it was like too much. + none of the info was really on the internet so what that say about the assignment hmmm ? [say response here]

okay, what you said.

lol

anyways, so i just got finish picking up my trash from all over my back yard :/ those darn animals ! i was sooo pissed.... but now i'm okay i guess... its cold in my house & outside. we wear hoodies & hats inside ...smh ...shame.

I have to attend (lol attend) a christmas party today... i think my schedule is pretty much filled for like this whole week ... ugh. I have tutorial & conditioning ALL THIS WEEK ! i might not do conditioning though... but i can't talk on the phone & type sooo uhhhh later lol

coolbeaners 

uuurg .

i need to do myy hw .

myy friennd calls me too muchh, its Veryy annoyinng .

i wannt someonee to do myy essayy for me ..

any takers ?

i cannt finnd my jacket ..

lmao . i busted myy heaad on thee door in fronnt of everybodyy today . it was funny .

i need $$ on myy phone !!

thannksgivinngs gonnah be Soo borinng = (

i wannah go shopping>:o

i need to stop dropping myy freakinng phone>:o

omg . i reaad twilight ! it`s soooo good . 

iloveit*

im readdinng it againn .

i literally tuurned back to thee begininnng when i got done reaading = )

hw time now .. 

adiossss

                                                                                                                         - a@w3s0m3

searchin

job searching sucks !

FUDGE !!!!!!!

how about ...

i'm drinking coffee and its 4pm ... :/ its gone.

so yesterday i went to the usher- ladies only concert... i don't know why but i was expecting more ... I sat the whole time & watched... I looked around and i was super surprised, everybody there was waaaaayyyyyy older than me & they were loosing their minds on Usher ... ! I had a good laugh ... overall the show was great i mean if you were looking at me it wouldn't look like i was enjoying it but i was.... i was just.... i was just taking it all in lol.

& Usher didn't look different in person.... you know how celebrities look different in person ? ... well he looked like himself. i just thought that was cool. His dancers were great.

____________________________________

on another note i'm so hype about this thanksgiving because i'm so ready to see my mom & my younger siblings its been a year !

I'm so ready.

I was sooooo upset today out of no where i wanted to cry... i'm stressed. I have so much to do before thanksgiving ...

i need love ... lol.

.coolbeaners 

- im bored out of my flipping wit

- in thirsty and these cheap muthafuckas refuse to buy some water !! >:o

- everyone is getting ready for homecominng = [

- i need somethinng to do . NOW

( anti awesome ]

= |

idr if i`ve blogged since my friend has been here but w/e .

so she`s been here for almost 3 days .

1st day: w.e.

2nd day: thought i would stab er

3rd day: = ] BESTIEE 

lol . but yeaah . 

its hot .

i have a lil but of hw todayy .

MY SISTER IS COMINNG THIS WEEKEND

everyone wannts me to go to homecoming but i donnt want to .

she`s singing "myy band" . i hate that sonng w/ a passion .

im listening to drake = ]

i wannah talk .

jujuan gave me a rose yesterday .. and today = /

its nice and all that but .. nahh ..

he can keep em coming but people are thinking we go outt annd thats simplyy unacceptable .

i want "the highh life"

i wonder if there is a such thinng as "perfect" annd if there is do the people that have it realize that they do .

maybe we have exactly whats perfect for us 

= / or maybe = ]

"im getting high ! ohhh ! and closer to my dreeeaams !!" = DDD

today on the way to fifth period today i saw this boy --

intermission: soo this boyy is this lil bwah that .. UGHH !! idek .

= [

= [

smh . he's ridiculous .

lets jess say TOOOO manny people . people that dont even give a shit about me have said, "erin, shut up !" or "fuck him" or "him !?"

= [

anyways .. lonng story short i saw him walkinng down the hall w/ his arm arouund some chick and havent been able to get him off my minnd ever since .

stoopid huh ?

no ! beyonnd stoopid . like idek .

i hate him !

>:o

anywho ...

my horoscope says i give good advice = ]

i wonder if everone thinnks they're like wise beyonnd their years or is that jess me being ignorant .

lol . but like i thinnk about stuff .

i guess im good at looking at thinngs from other people's point of view .

but maybe its jess all girls that arent completely dummb .

hmm .. but i guess i'll never know because its not like i can compare thoughts w/ other people .

well ; maybe i couuld but theres no way to knows if they're beinng completely honest and youu might embellish here or there to make youurself souund better ...

lol .

i love intellect . i thinnk its like the best thinng = ]

cool . cool . cool .

hmm ; i love when people are like funny and smart but not all "oh did youu know" like they thinnk .  tehe = ]

lala . dude ! whyy is it freaking 8oo degrees in this peace .

is it piece or peace ? = /

random word to the wise: donnt let boyys get iny ouur head . NOT a good look .

im kindah excited to grow up . i wannah skip college . i wannah skip straight to my married w/ children part .  im like excited to have a family and stuff = ]

ahhahaha . i jess realized this entire blog was jess like random thoughts .

i guess thats like what a blog is for . unless youu like have something specific to say or tell someone .

what.the.fuck. i feel like im on smart mode right now .

like "did youu know" type smart .

NOT NOT NOT a good look so ..

ifly,

-- whoaa thats awesomee = D 

<3

pshh

last night i went to sleep around 12 .

then i woke up around 3.45 as i often do . during this time i check my phone and put it on the charger .

so i saw i had a aim from my cousin .

well she`s not really my couusin .

we jess say that ; yuh know ?

i talk to her Alot .

its weird at times because she`s alot older than me .

actually she`s the same age as coolbeansz = ]

well anyway she aimed me like you woke but she aimed me at like 1 .

so i replied like i am now = ]

"you wannah talk ?"

"sure ."

" you wannt me to call you or you sleepy"

"um . im callin youu right now"

so we talked .

lmfaoo !! i swear this bittch and her friends are hilariouus !!

they had me Rolling on some unnecessary type shit = ]

mann ; i love that bitch = ]

so anyway around  5 we got off the phone .

why at like 5.o3 my sister and mama busted in my room like "you still up !?"

i jess happened to have my phone in my hand and my mama was all up in it like who you talking to !? what yall talking bout !? BlahBlahBlah .

i looked at her like she was dummb like can i please have myy life back, please !?

lol .

w.e.

so why like a hour later i awoke to loud as disney music and my lil sister all up on my computer sangin` and thangs .

wtf !?

calmlyy i asked her to turn it down .

she didnt know how so i did it myself .

soon i was back to sleep .

in a few hours i was awaken again by the phonee ringing .

my mama answered it and right when i was about to go back to sleep i heard her like "whats wrong ashley !?( fake name . but "ashley" is my best friend ] -- no . jess put your mom on the phone"

so im like wth !?

but im sleepy so im all like fuck that . i`ll talk to that bitch later .

so around 11 my mama comes in my room and wakes me up or w.e.

she`s looking all serious .

hahaha now that i think about it im surprised i did`nt get scared and try to think if i did something . lol .

but anyway she was like i talked to ashley and her mom and she`s gonnah be staying w/ us for a while .

now you`d prolly think i would get all excited but i didnt .

see she was already stayinng w/ myy otherr friend but .. idk .. she was really feeling it .

= /

but yeah ..

( nothing to sayy ]

mhm .

i talked to myy couusin again this morning = D

lmaoo ; smh .

crazy bitch .

oh yeaah !

coolbeans : i was reading your last blog .

and um .. i dont get it .

at all = /

i`ve been watching LivingSinngle all morning .

im bored .

it looks disgustingg ouutside .

myy room a lil` junkie .

im kindah hungryy .

i sorta feel like readinng a good book .

i need a good laugh .

i have hw but i dont have my textbooks = [

I Wannt To Talk To Someone Intersetinng .

i got nail polish all over my blanket ; tried to take it off and it smeared = /

i need new songs on my iPod .

i needah go work .

im starting to get a headacche .

im HOT in heree ! ughh !

i`d rather be sleeping or watching a good movie .

i wannah go do something Fun and Dangerous and Crazy ...

i wannah talk to this one stoopid lil bwah = [

im feeling all BLAAAAHH !!

w.e. bittch . im done .

                 

signed w/ lots of love ,

-- AWEsomee 

not quite an epiphany...

today has just been kinda reflect mode for me...i'm still "plugged in" or engaged in the activities of this thing called life but ...i was observing.

Today, i told a guy ... that i hated him. it wasn't even in joking tone. it was serious, truthfully i don't but... i like him. i talk to him a lot but i just ... 'loathe' his ignorance. I cursed at him an everything. he still stayed around... i mean i don't like the things he does, like he's so young an he's seting himself up for failure and i try to talk to him and tell him what i think & he just looks at me like.... you're a girl, you don't know ish.

I have a problem.

I was watching this deep behind movie on FX ... american history x... deep.... deep....DEEP. I was like wow, its like idk. I can't explain its like i knew that what happened at the end was gonna happen at some point but i didn't know when.

I've been all kinds of wacked out, and i guess this was something i needed to see. you know everything we say...we might say in the end that we didn't mean it but there's a small percentage of it thats true. so just how i told that guy i hated him....i didn't mean it but i know that i don't like him. Its a lot of things that i see that just makes me angry but i don't say anything. i state my opinion sometimes but not all the time.... because sometimes i come off as an asshole. like this guy Miles that i know. to me... he's an asshole. he states his opinion sarcastically .... more sarcastic than me & it pisses me off. He was wants to be a smart ass and show off his "self-taught education" and he's wrong. UGH, then he had the nerve to call some other people pedantic ! ii couldn't do anything but frown up my face...

[i'm really going off on a super tangent & being random at the same time, please forgive me]

then my sis aka awesome, pointed out to me that it seems like i'm becoming distant from my friends.... the people i called friends for so long. i see it. i don't know why. maybe its my boyfriend. maybe its because i'm really trying to figure and sort some things.... idk.

*my desk is super dirty and cluttered & i read somewhere i can't remember but einstein said, they say a cluttered desk mean a cluttered mind .... so what does an empty desk mean ?.... well it was something like that. I can't remember. 

maybe i just have too much on my mind to even think clearly...i think thats what it is. I can't ever write good papers because my dad says that either i'm not explaining myself enough or he just completely doesn't know what i'm talking about...its un-clear.

i know what i want, but yet i don't.

---------------------------------------------------------

me & a couple people i know always joke about his one girl i know .... we say she's pro -black and stuff. &  I heard her with my own ears say she hates white people. But she always contradicts herself .... saying everything that she thinks would make her look good in our eyes but she still feels the need to yell over you to get her point across.... and it probably wouldn't make sense to you. I can't give you any examples because there's just so many i can't remember. There's this white guy who's like madly in love with her and he hangs around me... I can't stand it because well all he thinks about is her... talks about her... and idk at first i was just cool with her then when i came into her circle i started to "not like" her i try to distant myself from her but its hard. but anyway the guy is totally annoying he will not leave me alone.... i can't have alone time he has to be there and i don't like hugging him. I really don't care for hugging anyway...like today we were walking in the hall.... he felt the need to be walking so close to me that our shoulders were touching... i like my personal space, really i do. Every time i tried to move away it was like he was attached to me . I got EXTREMELY irritated. I hate an attitude ! 

But i know what he's doing.... i told him sense the girl isn't treating him all kinds of wrong he should just forget her and stop talking to her and move on. So, he's trying to fill that space...of where she use to be to him. His problem is he's too clingy like, he has problems with the woman in his life and he's calling me his sister and the only family he has & that he hates his mother. its just crazy. 

I know i'm clingy. but i give people choices when they first meet me. I'm like super nonchalant and not open to them so if they keep talking to me like they really wanna get to know me then i open up. but i guess i'm clingy to an extent. but idk

my brain is going infinity miles an hour.

--coolbeans

yee-uhh = ]

okay ; so for some reason ( idr ] i was looking at muh drafts, right ?

so i remember when i had blogged my heart out but something happened and i could`nt post it .

well ... back then i ha stoopid Mozilla ( ew. ] and now i have amazing Safari ( yay ! ]

interruption: lmfaoo ! why is my ex talking bout some "you know you enjoyed me when you had me"

how bout wtf !? I broke up w/ YOU on MY burfday .. obviously i wasnt enjoying you too much . hahahahhaha ; thats mean . i hope he Never sees this = ]

anyways .. back to the story ..

so yeah i have safari blah blah . so im like hmmm .. maybe i could copy and past the thingy into a new post or w.e. and what do yuh know !! it worked and here we are = ]

now-uh-days im much happier despite the whole school situation .. = /

but lol i was reading it or w.e. and i was like cheesing the whole time = D

ommfg ! tell me whyy my mama is talking bout some i cant wear eyeliner ! 

what.the.fuck.

who.the.fuck.

when.the.fuck.

where.the.fuck.

and how.the.fuck !?

smh ; thats crazyy huh ?

interruption: why is this bwah like "you know you enjoyed that 2 weeks we went out"

omfg ! we deff went out for more than that .

but idk .. but it felt like a LONGG ass time . rofl ! soo many people was like "erin ... seriously ? like fareal ?"

lmaoo .. smhh

he's crazyy ! and a asshole .. and loud .. and ghetto .

smhh ; i ca --

hmm .. not gonnah say that .

= ]

so anyway back to the blogg that i copied or w.e.

... here it is !!

... 

9.17.o8

i feel like screaming and throwing thingss !!!grr !! UGHH !! for the past few days i've been feelig very ... angry/idk/depressed .about 5sec. ago i was ready to kill because i wanted to blog badd ! but i couldnt sign on !! now i feel Reaally dumb because the entire time i was spelling something wrongg . whatever bitch = /i need to do my hw . like 2hrs ago . oh yeahh and im failing >:oeverybody told me "dont fuck up" but its mucho easier said than done . i jess dont (ever] feel like doin this crap . IM FREAKIN FRUSTRATED !!ughh .... = [

Bitch&Moan session :

i lovve my phone .im cold .

i need a new layout .

im hungry .

i dont wannah fail .

all i ever think about is shoppin and im broke as fuck .

im bored .

im jess not happy .and im usually happy for like no reason ; or if im not the saddness only lasts for like a dayy ....wtf dude !?

oh yeah ! hahah . i think these chicks at school hate me because this bwah (used to ?] talk to me .wow . if they only knew what was really goin on they'd prolly laugh like "HAHAHHA ! ERINN ! wtf !? hahhahah !"tehe .i actually cacked a smile .... but within a 2sec it was gone .my daddy took my computer to get all the viruses and stuff taken off and now i have no safari no itunes and everything i download is Gone .so for now im stuck with effn MozillaFirefox . its pretty fast but i keep tryin to download some flashplayer thingy and the shit wount work !!!wannah know somethin cool ?since i started bloggin' that "UGHH !!" feeling went away a wittle . thats good huh ?blahblahblah ...i needah mann ... like seriously ... UGHH !! i wannah go fuckin shopping like ... it jess makes me angry !!like omg !! i saw these boots one E!News and fell in love . then i saw these blazers that i LOVEE on some skateboard shop store online thingy and ... i've jess been seeing alottah crap and its pissin me off !im ready for summer .hmph . actually i was kindah supposed to like spend the summer w/ my cousin kindah sortah gf but ... idek . = /

NOBODY COOL HAS TEXTED OR AIMED ME ALL DAY !! i feel so unloved = [[

= [
= [
i wannah do somethin wildd .uhmm so ; i guess i'll go hit up that hw ....
which is ironic because i jess said i wanted to do something wildd . wow .


adios loveee .




signed ,
not . so . awesomee :/

highschool dropout*

i hate school w/ a passion .

its very hard .

harder than i every thought it would be .

the teachers are assholes beyond reason .

i Really wannah do good and make something of myself but ... 

we`ll have to see about that .

= /

                                                                                                                     -- awesome ? how bout not .

its only racist if you are...

Bored.

I know, what a waste for a eye catching title....but ayyyyeeee

:D

- whoaaa

well you know we be putting a signature or w/e at the end of the little post thingyys .. ?



well i jess realized i havent done that the lass 2 time so ...

-- HAHA . she awesome = ]

-- i think i wannah be "WHOA !" = /

tehe = ]

- WHOAA ! she's freakin nutzz !

ha . best friend ... !

(sigh]

on the bus home i decided to blog about what happened today .

all this stuff was goin through my head about what i wanted to wright and all that .

now i cant remeber a thingg !

so i guess i'll jess tell the story .


so today in sixth period my best friend called me over like "erin ! come here !" she was using that immah kick yo ass voice .
so i walk over like what ?
and she's like why have you been giving ashley and brittney stank lookes . ashley is standing there lookin all innocent ... but then she always looks like that so ...
im all like "wtf !? no the fuck i dont !!>:o"
ashley: umm ; yeah . you really do .
me : umm ; no .

then the teacher made me go back to my seat or w/e and we dont get to finish the convo .


so im mad because my so called best friend is talkin about me w/ some other chick and is obviosly takin her side !!
ughh = [


mann . . . thats fucked up huh ?
like my feelings are real life hurt = [[[


and i mean i dont be trynnah give them stank looks and i thought that they didnt like me so if a stank look slip out ...
w/e !


but i guess i cant realy get mad at my friend because this has happened before but i was the one like why you be giving her stank looks . but in that situation it was one of my best friends ; ashley and her jess became close like as soon this drama started . so fuck it ! i can be madd !!
and when it was me i didnt even talk about it unless both of them is there and they've been conversating and shit about it for 2 effn days now !!
UGGHHH >:o


thats crazyy ..
now umm would a best friend really like do that ?
smh .

UGHH !!!


WTF !?


i jess wrote a blogg about EVERYTHINGG !! but i accidently saved it as a draft and now idk how to post it !!!


if you wouldve read it you would understannd ...


UGHH !! damnit !
obviosly im upset .

i'll try one more time though .



nnyah ...

um shaded.

sheesh man...

today i'm so depressed. awful awful AWFUL day.

i'm reading pygmalion, well, other people were but i dozed on them.

awful acting skills...

berfdays suck. ofcourse mine is on fareakin'  SEPT. 11, nobody cared or knew. :(

except all my myspace heads.... well not even all of them. [tear tear]

i want more steak, grr... my dad made some burnt steak, i must say.... on point. lol.

sheesh... i could eat that all week and clog up my intestines ...mmmm. best part of the birthday was this weekend my [boy] got me some stuff and his mom made me some brownies. MY grandma and aunt was all up in them :(

i need money. i need a REAL job. & i need to shop... ahh.

`coo[fuxin]beans

okay so...

Just an average weekend...

washed my hair cuz it was DIRTY... i think. I just washed it. I didn't have to write any papers this weekend,

YEE!

buddumm.... i was so bored today, i started reading a stephen king book [w t f ?] 

right now i'm washing clothes so yeah in between loads i'm 'spacing'. I purposely took 4 hours to wash my hair... now i have to straighten it. that'll take like 2 hours...

good.

boring ass day.

i was suppose to go to church today, backfired. I don't really go to church but i thought i should just go. I was koo i mean, that church isn't like super PRAISE THE LORD, but it gets the message across nicely.

no pics this time, buddumm.... yah.

`coolerbeanyweany... :D

omg give me some pow pow

i don't know why the eff sickle i haven't been blogging... 

its the end of summer, i'm doing nothing at all. drama here drama there...

but everything is coolbeans, i'm so like eating a burrito right now. i've been  up since like 7 and i"m just now eating. unhealthy.  on tuesday i worked, it was so slow. in my precinct theres 570 registered voters and only 105 voted.  they all came close to the end. awful, a freakin' 12 hour shift, boring as fuck... everybody slept except me. On the count of the fact that i was the only person working in my position.

LMAO *random-but just happened* my school just called and said that the principal wants everybody to dress in black && gold on the first day !! [ monday :( ]

stick by my side...

dear awesome, 

HAPPY BERFDAY LOVE !

love, cooooolllbbeeaaannnnssss

:)

okay lets begin with the series of events from last week...

Thursday, my older sis and my nephew came into town. I love them bunches, my nephew is bad but extremely cute lol.

friday night we [ me, my dad, my sis & nephew]  left for New York. 

It was a trip to look at my future college, Parsons the new school of design. I was suppoe to tour it and go to the information session and all that ish on monday. So when we got in NY it was like 12, when we got there all my little cousins and my little sister were still up ! they're all like in single digit age range ... they needed to be asleep. we didn't get to sleep till really late because we got bum rushed.

the sleeping arrangement for the little girls, a pull out bed...

fighting over a chair, lets just say it ended in tears [the girl won]

saturday and sunday were both thee same all the kids stayed in the house with grandma connie while my dad and my papa went to play golf. on sunday me and my sister judged a dance contest... lol i was being mean, if they sucked i told them they sucked lol !! but they took it well but my little cousins who were sisters they had me rolling..... they were dancing extremely hard...like they were killing it. I was crying it was so funny...

my dad took me to get some ice cream on sunday too from dairy queen with rainbow sprinkles.... i could eat that everyday. It started out a search for a klondike bar but they were no where to be found so i settled for an ice cream cone :D

Monday... i woke up early in the morning because we had to catch a train to the city at 7 in the morning...it was an hour and a half ... then we ate breakfast.... it was good but it cost 16 bucks for some simple crap [eggs bacon an toast]

then we caught the subway to 14th street so i an go to my info session.... i told my dad it was ten and he was like, "ok".

we got to the school and they were like oh they left cause it started at 10 and my dad was like i thought it started at 10:30... i was kinda heated ... we had to walk down the street a little and they were in that building . It was alot of  "foreign" people in there...i was like lawd, i have to compete with people from different countries ?! 

you know they real smart because they take an education extremely serious...

but it was okay it was over at like 11:45 and my dad was like do you wanna walk around and i was like, idc... then i was getting frustrated because we were just walking random places. So we ended up leaving the city early...i didn't get to tour the school or the campus or the dorms... like i was convinced i would. Because i had to go home on Monday so we had to be back in time to catch a plane :(

we caught a 6 o'clock flight that evening and came home. That night my brother Corey came over to see us and he came over on tuesday morning to see my sis and nephew before they left.

now my days are back to being boring an uneventful...

`coolbeans.

Adele be the business [:

ok so

i jess got back from the mall a wittle while ago ...

maybe top 5 worst mall experiences of my liiiife !
it was jess alot of ugly people trynnah talk to me . 1 - w.e. 2 - uhmm now 3 - not even gonnah go there ..
and what do yooouu know ! 3 of the ugliest niggas (these so cali kids got me sayin that sheesh ! >: | ] tried to talk to me .

• one of 'em was like soooo super crazy and was bouttah get the dog shit slapped outtah him
• one , they said another one was trynnah steal my phone
• and the lass ... he was jess ugly .

w.e. enough about those hoes
when we had first got there it was me , kammy , kammy's friend , and the friend's friend . so we go to the movies or w.e. to see TheDarkKnight . omg , i wanted to love that movie so bad but it jess wasnt doin it for me . towards the end it was jess gettin really wierd . i wasnt payin so close attention but still ... HEATH L. ROCKS MY WORLD but uhmm , yeah . =/


yesterday i tried to watch PrettyWoman at Pam's home but it was curfew so i had to go back home , so i took the DVD got it home and there was a friggin parentral control lock on the TV ! pissed was i , oh yes .
w.e.



"oh yes , im the Villain . still Love me ? "
-- awesome ;

yes please ...

ok.
i be back !

so umm ....
we went to the mall to get something to wear to keenon's party and omg i got the cutest shirt ! :]
they said it was hoochie at first but when they saw me in it they was like oh its coo . so yep
we also went to target . i got pizza bites because i was so starvacious ! -_-
they were so scrumptious ! im actually makin more now .

umm so ..
OH YEAH !! i got attacked by a two year old this morning !! i was like gimme a hug, so she gave me a hug or w.e. and walked off .. so like 3 minutes later im sittin on the floor in front of my suitcase trynnah find something to wear and she run's up outtah nowhere like "GIMME A HUUUUUG !!!!!" and freakin attacked me then proceeded to choke the happy shit outtah me !!!
it was semi-hilarious at the moment but now its straight lmao-style

ok so ill deff get back with ya when i got some thangs to say !


your bestie,

a!$*&!@%
<3

oh so very BOMB hoe ! ;]

to my dearest coolbeans,

wtc hoe ?? why does your head look funny in all those pics ?! lol . that sounds mean but w.e. truth hurts !! deff: ILY <3

love,
aWESOMe

MMK. so my mama pissed me off in a big way today when she said "tell Erin shes NOT buying any more jeans because im tired of them"
... what kinda effed up BS is that supposed to be ?! idk why im surprised this is probably the hundreth time shes said im not buying anymore of something because shes tired of it. it still makes no sense to me however "/


uuups we're leaving bbl



i havent proofread so please excuse ...

ignant !

lol 

just a little bit or ignorance for the morning.

[click ignorance]

untitled

i think he was enjoying that one.

FREE COKE !

lol some guy we wondered what was up with his hair.

"DEAR AWESOME, 

thankies 'bout my lil saying lol...

i had something else to say but i forgot :/

yea-up ! 

`coolbeansssss"

okay so yesterday i went to the coca-cola factory. It seemed like a super short tour and we didn't have a tour guide so we were just roaming around. I was originally suppose to go with my friends ninja and cookie buddumm.... ninja wanted to get her hair done O_o & cookie just couldn't come because his parents don't trust him....

-looking around-

kinda sad rii... thats my bud i don't understand why they wouldn't ...

ANYWAYS...

so i ended up going with my friend GUIDO...lol. It was fun even though it was just us two. His sisters and his little cousins were there with us first but they just went to the park and we ate and they left. Then we (me&guido) went to the coca-cola factory. omg when we got there it was a long behind line ! but by the time we bought our tickets an went through the medal detectors we were about to go on the tour we didn't have to wait long.

we get in and they do a game show lol... they had volunteers come up and guido volunteered... the host guy called all the volunteers bob even though he mad them introduce them selves. they were going against us the audience. 

then we went to watch the animated factory documentary, the guy talking in there looked like a tall kip (from napoleon dynamite) and he sounded like him too LOL. He said his name was Chris ....he was funny in a like sarcastic way . Then we went in walked through hundreds of years of knowledge about coke but it was some super cool technology in there. THEN we went upstairs to the tasting place omg BEVERLY TASTES LIKE POISON and it smells like idk that cinnamon hard candy. awful but me and guido race and drank as many sodas as we could.... i suck lol... i was so slow i felt like i couldn't drink fast enough. but we got a free soda and it was cool.

lol

reflections

so i was jess reading my first blog ...

wow. i swear if i didnt know myself id be like "thats one crazy hoe :]" but i do so im like "w.e." lol.

but yeah...
im in alot better mood than i was earlier today.

its funny how i would blog very couple of moths or something and now this is my second time blogging today!! ... both blogs have been about nothing in particular but still ... tehehe :D

.. i jess changed the font color thingy to yellow :]]
my fav color!!!!

i cant really see anymore but i think the background thing-ma-bob is black so thats good

but if its not .. OOPSY ! MY BAD!! "/


LOTS of love, awesome <3

lala

dear coolbeans,

the quote at the end of "fareal" is deff super sexy! Kudos!!! :DD

love always.

AWESOME :]




okay. im sitting in my cousins room bored as usual.

HOLY MOLEY! my auntie jess bbusted in nakey and told me that during my cousins party im gonnah have to stay in the back room because its too dangerous. w.e.


anywho .
back to being bored. im bored. and everyone left me! kammy, keenon, and racheal [ keenon's friendgirl]. so now im here w/ my naked aunt, my crazy uncle, and my cousin who i have nothing in common w/ mostly because of the fact that shes 21.... o boy i hope they come back soon even tough im 95% sure they wount be back for a few days.

w.e. maybe i can go shopping ... doubt it.

i think im depressed ... hmm.
according to quizlet. com depressed means "to diminish the activity, strength, or to lower in spirit & mood"


im depressed.
and i have nothing left to say.
goodbye.


sincerely,
not so awesome.

o yeah

this nigga fuxin' matt rob a nixxa heart !

he wanted me to come to his freakin' frackin' boxing match....then he tells me he not gonna do it anymore....then he says he wants to take me to the movies on saturday (yesterday) ! 

No call no nothing....

so i was like ard.... that's koo... don't ask me to go anywhere else !!!!!!!!

liars.... ugh...

`coolbeans

fareal

This is really one of the worst summers...

okay so yesterday i had plans to go over my friend Gavin's house and my dad was gone ALL DAY.

fuxin' guy.

Then when he gets home like 6, i asked him could he take me....he was planning to go to my friends, dads, birthday party.... so i was like i'll be over there while you're at the party and you can come get me. Then the excuses come flying out ! "i have to come all the way out there to get you ?!...i'm gonna be so tired !..." so by this time i'm on the phone with my friend and they're both talking at the same time. I wanted to tell my dad that i'll drive home but i knew this weak negro would come up with some other stupid excuse. so i cut both of them off and said, OKAY I GUESS THAT'S A NO ! 

hung up on my friend. walked away from my dad.

all of my days have pretty much been the same.

...

...

...

yesterday i watched 27 dresses and semi-pro. 27 dresses great movie...i like movies like that. Semi-pro was kinda dumb but it had its funny moments. I talked to my friend mike about college and i laid around all day. today i had plans to go get my hair done but that changed. Tomorrow i might go see batman with some friends and i need to get my friend Alia something, her birthday is on tuesday...i wonder what she's doing because i might have to kidnap her for my trip to the coca cola factory ! ....i still have to ask if i can go though.

i planned the stupid trip.

coolbeans.

beesh i'm the bomb like tick tick ... :D

oh gosh.

yeah. um. i feel weirdo-ish because this is like my second time blogging and coolbeans'z 900th. im not even sure if a post is the same as a blog. im feel'n pretty crabby all of a sudden...



well w.e.! omfg!! i read coolbeans'z recent blogs and i have a few things to say ..
1. my father i pretty darn weird.
2. i dont think i ever want to eat my grandmothers food again.
3. COOLBEANS IS AWESOMELY WEIRD! ;]




ANYWHO. so im spending this summer in Cali, and usually i have ridiculous amounts of fun but this time is very diff. idk. i dont really regret coming out here because i had some fun .. but its kindah suck-ish. and its really bad because this is my lass summer before im officially in high school. :[[
which brings me to the fact that im dreading high school. >:o
oh gosh. like what if i have no where to sit at lunch and have to sit w/ the scary kids or in the bathroom or something !? :'[[ IM LIKE SOOO FLIPPING OUT!
or what if im walking down the hall and i jess get pushed into a trash can or something??? what'r you supposed to do if that happens????? i wish i was having a super fun summer so i wouldnt even have time to think about that junk. "/



oh gosh.




well these days im in a relationship w/ this one guy ... yeah hes kindah the bomb-ish at times but idk .. w.e. !
enough about him. im bored and miss my friends!!






oh boyy! you know how i was reading coolbeans'z blogs or w.e. well i saw that she got her bar!! YAY HER !!!
i actually wanted to get my cartilage pierced but mow im having second thoughts ... not because of the pain or anything jess because of the fact that i wasn't something edgier but i want it now. and i know im not getting too much edge w/ the parents i have now :[[ idk if i should get it now, or wait until i can get something i really want. and im not even 300% sure i want that. gosh! i fiend for the edge!!

randoms: i wannah go school shopping w/ an unlimited amount of money and transportation to where ever i want to go. i dont think anyone understands how happy that would make me.





story time:
omfg!! the other day my uncle told me and kammy to clean the kitchen and we was like we did it yetserday, which we both did. and he was like wells someone has to do it so clean it again.
erin- PSH!
kammy- PSH!
so he was like when i come back yall beter be cleaning. he came back. we werent. so he was like alright immah get my belt he was laughing a and junk so we assumed he was kidding so when he came back w/ a belt me and kammy jumped under the pillows like there was no tomorrow. me, kammy , and my uncle [ kammy's dad ] are all still laughing at this point. then he begins to hit kam. kammy ran away to go clean up. i stayed on the couch. then this a'hole actually hit me!! i didnt hurt toooo bad and he was jk but i dont think he shouldve hit me. so i walked to the back to WOOOSAHH. when he came back there and was basically like you know i could really whoop you if i wanted to. so being the person that i am was like PSHHHH! YOU MUST BE CRRAZZZYYY!!! blah blah blah talking talking and hes like immah call yo auntie and so what she thinks [ im very close w/ my aunt we joke and kid aound alot ] so im like okay w.e. so he goes outside to try and catch her before she leaves [ i think she was going to the mall or something ] and i later found out that she was like you handle it because she thought we was all still playing around. this crazy came in and called my mama so he could ask her to tell me that he could whoop me if he wanted. i knew she would. that didnt matter to me because ... well because i said so ! lol. anywho ..
so the day later that day my god cousins mom had asked me to come over and talk abut what happened. so me and kammy went over there and in the middle of telling her the story my auntie walks in.[ i hadent seen her sense she left earlier ] blah blah. she hears my side of the story and is like ok we need to go talk to him about this. blah blah. so we walk over there and confront him. OMFG! me, my dearest auntie, and kammy could barely get a word in edgewise !!! gosh! but w.e. we came to an understanding that he insnt to try to discipline me in any way. this slut caught an attitude and was like sense act grown hes jess gonnah let me be grown and not ask me to do anything and let me come and go as i please [ he always got mad because i would go back ad forth from my house to my god cousins house late at nigh. omg! that live in the same complex for cry'n out load!! ]. so now we dont talk. i guess idc i jess hope i didnt burn any bridges for if i need him in the future.
"/




lmao. my mother said she was the fashionesta of snellville today. ew, no. <3




uhmmm. what else is there ...
oh yeah, im goin to six flags tomorrow and i have nothing to wear. :[[

oh yeah. ahahha. we went the knotts berry farm the other day. and kammy ditched me and m god cousin because she was gett'n on his nerves and he wanted to hang out w/ his hoes. now i had no problem w/ this but she did. it was actually semi-hilarious because she was freaking out about how she does all this junk for him and jess gonnah ditch her like that. but them she started to piss me of because she didnt want to ride anything because she was so distraught over kammy. but we saw one of kammy's friends there and they became like besties in 3o seconds !! lol!! even though theres like a 4 year age diff between the two. ahaha. weirdos.


anywho .. im hungry but theres nothing to eat really. maybe i'll aim kammy... or not.


w.e.
i guess thats about it.




sighned, YOUR DADS FAV GUUURL :]]

-- awesome.

i chot it !

okay sooooo i got the industrial on saturday,
Fuxin' 72.80 + 5.00 for some junk to was it...
i like it though, people get scared when they see it. he he, black people.

shame

okay so i'm off punishment but  i'm still angry. I had to have a therapy session with my dad to get my stuff back. I still didn't get my card back. Anyway, I'm not doing anything else this weekend but my literature work because the book is due back on the 16 so i really have to finish that. This morning i mostly just worked out and looked for how much it would cost to get a couple piercings. I looked for a piercing parlor close to me and it was only ONE. I was kinda mad about that because they look mad ghetto, I'm not gonna drop any names lol. But I'm looking to get a industrial, second earlobe and nose piercing. I'm waiting 'til later to get the nose piercing...

gone.

my mind feels at times completely absent from my body, like last night i laid in my closet and with the door closed gazed in the darkness...for a while.

I hate this summer. I'm able to take advantage of it as i should...its suppose to be those few months that you don't have to think hard at all, you never write anything, and you just do anything stay up late and get uglier because you don't get any rest...

I been completely raped of mine.

FUCK !

I read the entire day...finished 'Jane Eyre', the most boring book i ever read. It had its moments when it got interesting but it wasn't many. I slowly read through 682 pages. I think it took me a week. It's due back on the 16. I have time to finish up this stupid paper i have to write for it. And all the other random ass assignments that i have to do for the novel analysis.

I have music playing that i'm not really listening to, I guess it's just soothing right now. I have a knife on my desk along with a notebook and a glass...

Don't worry [if you care] i'm not planning anything. The knife i used at like exactly 12 hours ago [1:15p] i was cutting open an apple to see if it was okay to eat. Because this bag of apples had been in this like container on the kitchen table for months and no one knew they were there. I just happened to be sitting at the table and i smelled them...they smelled good. :)

I forgot i had put them there one day while i was cleaning. Upon this discovery i decided i would keep them for myself because i don't eat all day til late at night and i'll eat some popcorn or something. I'm not starving myself, my grandma can't cook well...i don't think she's a real grandma. She only knows how to fry things and make a salad. Today she made fried porkchops and cabbage and rice. I like cabbage and i hadn't ate in a while so i ate this meal. It was koo, i think the cabbage needed a little more seasoning but hot sauce fixed that lol!

Anyways it was okay. My dad out of nowhere said to me i was doing a good job cleaning the kitchen...i just said thanks and then he proceeded to tell me what i needed to do tonight while cleaning the kitchen. And now he's standing behind me blowing his nose.......................

 okay he's gone.

I was on myspace and just happen to look at one of my little sisters pages and this chick has a tattoo on her foot ! she's 14 well 15 today. wtf...how does she have a tat before me? I'm older...

hmmm....i guess it's because i'm the only one who lives with my wannabe young crazed father.

thats a beesh.

`coolbeans.

Hiatus

M.I.A. thats what i was for these past weeks... i know, nothing new. I assure you there's a valid reason... my internet wasn't working for all this time :(. But now it's back YAY ! I'm indeed still on punishment and i've been super emotional lately, hmmm...i think i'm suffering a Mariah Carey breakdown...lol, not quite. 

I'm bored. Listening to music...wishing i had my phone and my i-pod. I downloaded new music. I just remembered that my headphones has a short in one of them. I need to buy new ones. Okay so anyway because of this stupid punishment my whole summer has been fucked over. All my plans ruined ! I wanted to go to visit my mom starting July first and spend the rest of the summer. The only reason i didn't go sooner is because my bestfriend came from Philly just to hang with me and my dad said that he was taking me on college visits. I haven't been on one yet ! I only hungout with my friend once and it wasn't entirely enjoyable because were unsure of our financial situation. That night was fun though and scary ! I wish i could express better thoughts right now but i can't sooo.... until then...

coolbeansxx

on lock down AGAIN

OMG its the fucking summer time and i'm on punishment ! AGAIN!!!!!!!

house arrest

So i'm on house arrest, well not really i'm just calling it this. I'm on punishment again ! its the summer time for christ sake !! my dad got mad because i went to the movies with my friend, I mean i called him to let him know... he didn't pick up so i sent him a text message he was still mad and felt like it "ruined our trust" but its whatever. Now i can't step foot out of my driveway soooo yeah i'm on house arrest. I went to the Utrecht store today, its like an arts and crafts store and i got the all the supplies i needed for my studio art class summer assignments! so i'll post those pics up just show my progress ya know ? well i have to complete 5 assignments out of teen none of them are that interesting but its something to o other than my calculus work. So my dad spent 188 dollars on me today at the utrecht store, then took me to goodwill to give away some of my clothes, then to red lobster so house arrest wasn't that bad today, lol.  

summer...the beginning .

so this is my second week of summer and i feel like it's been months already. I'm FINALLY A SENIOR! but i have some dumb arse work to do over the summer. I have AP Calculus, A paper to write for AP British Lit, and I have to do some drawings... Its whatever though. My sisters went on a cruise today with their mother its for a week. I'm stuck at home doing nothing. I mean everybody wants to hang but no one has a car. my dad will not let me drive, and he argued with me about it, talking bout he's not getting me a car until my sophmore year in COLLEGE! wtf.... so i said to his face bump that i'm getting a car before that. So I extremely need a job so i can get a car. He told me i'm not gettting a car before that like he was saying that he forbids me too, lol it was crazy this guy said he didn't "give a damn" if i won the lotto i better not get a car before my sophmore year..... NIGGA PLEASE!

i take it back

so i've been on super lock down, punishment that is. Ahh it is such a long story and we have so little time. I got a lot of things accomplished because I had none of the regular distractions. 

·NO PHONE
·NO COMPUTER
·NO I-POD
what sucks is that it was extended through my spring break and my prom was over spring break. No discouragement came up though i was just on my best behavior and only asked when i was getting off twice. So i got off punishment the night before prom, awful. "My Date" called me and was like begging me to beg my dad if i could come. I didn't ask my dad because truthfully i didn't want to go with him. I'm not comfortable with him at all. It takes a long time for me to be comfortable with someone, some good friends i'm not comfortable with being around. So i'm into the second week of school after spring break and already had to do a research paper (which was due friday) and i have another paper this one is broad the other was pretty much straight forward. For this one i have to create a software that would solve a major issue in society, well atleast something i think it a major problem in society because one girl is doing heartbreak. Obviously something just happened to her. At first i was thinking of unemployment but then i couldn't think of any program to create to fight that, buuuutttt whatever it's due on friday i have to pick something quick.

Yeah so the title of this comes from, what i said in my last post about that character kenneth and I just decided he's a liar and i don't want'em. Okay well i don't know if he's a liar for sure because it was dealing with a previous liar ,  but the last time i spoke to him he got a little disrespectful so i knew i wasn't about to have that. I should've known he was that way because he disrespects his mother and sister. Can't win everything.

coolbeans.